Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
