I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
