I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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