I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
