look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
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hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
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She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim