I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange