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dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
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