If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
