Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
