i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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