You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
