Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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