yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
