Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
