I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
