I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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