I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
