I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
