it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is Oprah even human
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
