Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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