I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
