Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Two words: blizzard sex
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
