1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
