just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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