yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
