oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
