Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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