Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
