so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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