if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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