I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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