i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
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im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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