im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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