Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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