I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
