that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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