There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
All I want is dick and wine.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
