Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
