What did we do last night that was yellow?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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