tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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