I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
