Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize