Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
