I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
