i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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