I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Are we still banned from the library?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?