We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
your thong is hanging out like whoa
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
this is an emotional support booty call
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