it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
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I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well I just put wine in my tea
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
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I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist