I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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