Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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