My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
