so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
