He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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