Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
is that a dick in a sweater?
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