everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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