He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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