So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
