Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
