All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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