Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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