so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize