I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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