Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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