i just had sex bonerless
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
