after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
