obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
