Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
