We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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